Saturday, September 20, 2014

Faith

All everybody needs is a little bit of faith.
A little bit of faith to hold on to as we go to sleep. As we dream of the skies, of our lives. As night creeps in, as winter wraps her frigid arms around you. As you fear every morning, every beginning.
As you fall in love. As you reach out to the hand held out to you.
All we need is the faith that gets us through everyday. The faith that makes the sun rise tomorrow.
The kind of faith that makes the next day better than this one. The faith that makes us hope.

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(I have always wanted to do a 100 word post. I guess it is here)

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Afraid

In the end,
All we are is afraid.
We are shivering,
Petrified hollows of what we were
A long time ago.
We are transparent,
We are shadows in a world without colour.
We are scared of the hurt,
The scars, the pain that never goes away.
We are scared by the
Hands held out to us,
Of love that could go wrong
About how much people care.
We can't remember who we were,
That once our eyes were filled with hope.
We are afraid of breathing,
Of not breathing,
Of caring, of not caring.
We are afraid of happiness.
In the end,
All we want is someone
To believe in.
Someone to destroy the monsters
Under our bed
And the ones in our heads.
Someone to hold us at night
And keep us alive.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Pain

Pain is a curious thing.
Its unpleasant.
But If you concentrate enough, there won't be any of it.
It leaves you numb.
And craving for more.
After sometime, it never really stops.
There is no ending to how much you want.
You hurt yourself.
Just for satisfaction.
For a sense a justice.
Knowing no longer matters.
It sustains you, the hurt.
You fall, knowing you will scrape your knees.
You jump, knowing there is no ground.
You know you are going to cry,
But sometimes that is better.
To cry.
To let the dam of sorrow to break free.
To feel alone, betrayed.
To feel alive today.
No tomorrows left for us,
Just drowning in what we have left.

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Abandonment and Fun

Okay. Here goes a worthless attempt at putting my thoughts on paper. Or digitized text. Or whatever.
School's out!!
Or maybe school's out. I have done nothing but stare at the computer screen, waiting to pounce on anybody who comes online. I am sure I have thoroughly bored all of them. I am the queen of monologues. And of boring people to death.
We have ten days of Onam vacation. Onam is a harvest festival sort of thing in Kerala.
Festivals don't exactly excite me. The food does. I am sure I will be at least 10 kilos heavier by the time school starts. After which I will be tortured by my marks. Oh god, I can't even imagine how awful my marks are going to be. I was sitting hunched in front of my computer, typing up posts that don't even make sense to me. I could have used up that time to be more productive. And have mugged up some crappy Malayalam chapters.
I have been listening to awesome music. I just wish I could sing better. I am thinking of doing a cover here, just so you can judge how awful I am. I will have reached to conclusions at the end of the post, so fingers crossed. ( I can't type with crossed fingers, damn it.)
A day before school left off we had a holiday. So in the afternoon I went to a friend's house. She lives in this awesome place. So five of us had decided to impose ourselves on her.
We went to her apartment on the 26th (!!) floor. It was effing awesome. You could see our whole city from there. We were trying to find out which building was our school and I almost fell out of the balcony. We were speculating what would happen if I did. I was hoping that whoever fell would magically vaporize. Personally, I don't think splatting from the 26th floor is the optimal way to die.
While waiting for a couple of people to turn up, I reminisced the sad story of how I misread stuff in french while writing an exam a couple of years ago. The misreading turned out a bit extreme and I ended up writing, "He eats the guitar." I pity that person.
Later, the friend who opened the doors of her home to us tried to kill us by stuffing us with food. I, being the queen of eating, was delighted. But my other lady-like friends refused the generous helpings of pizza. What a waste of perfectly delicious, healthy junk. In order to burn down what we ate, we took the stairs. 26 flights of stairs ain't no cat-walk.
Afterwards we went to the pool and dipped our feet in. We also took a lot of weird pictures. I almost toppled off into the pool twice and was almost pushed by an awesome but positively evil friend.
The ugly person in a full black ensemble happens to be me.
We also went into a badminton room where even a whisper had a huge echo. So we sang 'Love Story' (only song we all knew) and it ended up sounding so weird while recording it that I almost dropped it while listening back. We also exercised at gym and apparently my pulse went up to 167 beats per minute. Huh. Didn't know that that was even possible without keeling over due to excessive hemorrhage.
In simple words, I had fun. A lot of it. 
In other interesting news, my parents abandoned me in a car without providing me lunch for about 2 hours. My brother had some sort of Parent Teacher conference and I told my parents I would sit in the car and study for my exam. I thought that they would take about 15 minutes. However, 1 and a half hours later, still waiting in the back of sweltering car, dying of hunger. I ended up having some dry stuff that scarcely even resembled food. I WAS MAD. However I forgave them when they got me ice cream.
I am not posting a clip of me singing today. Let's wait till my voice sounds less like than that of a braying donkey. Tootlepips!