Sunday, July 27, 2014

Running

She was fiddling. With her hair. It was not there any more. But, she could just pretend that it was still there. The curls,her gorgeous curls, black, beautiful. The muscle and sinew of her hair that was no longer there. But it didn't matter. Her old life was over. No superficiality was left inside her., Nothing to support the sense of vanity she once had. Nothing. And she regretted nothing. 
She ran her tongue through her mouth. It was covered with razor edged sores. She prodded them, bit at them, just to taste the coppery blood flow through her mouth again. It made her feel alive. 
She looked at her palms. She blew at them. They were ice cold. She held her hands to her cheeks. But her palms just sucked away the heat from them. They din't get warmer. They made her colder. Her mother used to say that she cold-blooded hands. Hands that changed with the temperature. Just like the rest of her. Just a chameleon fitting into the scene anywhere she went. Sucking the life out of every one, everywhere.
She still remembered the last thing he said. Him "I am sorry". He had apologized for her mistakes. She reeled back from the contempt the three words held. He had looked at her one last time. Hatred. Then, he was gone. He din't turn around to hear the loud crash of her heart. He didn't see her fall. He never waited to see her demise. The death of who she was.
But now, none of it mattered. All that felt like a mere vestigial organ. One that caused a lot of pain. But all feeling to it had been clamped from it. No. She reassured herself that no emotion was left. 'No, no, no, no, no, no,no.....'.
She ran her hand through her scalp. The short hair pricked her cold palms. 
A fire burned in front of her. She looked around. It was the bad part of the town. A place she would never have ventured out to in her previous life. But that one was over. Long gone. Over when he left. Now she looked like a person who would live in the bad part of town.
She stared out into the flames, mesmerized by the way the flames tickled the paper she had thrown in, before devouring it in whole. She watched as a bit of ash settled on her shoulder. She didn't brush it off. It could be her companion. 

She relished the heat for one last second and set off again. No use of staying anywhere.
"Gotta keep moving, gotta keep moving...." she hummed to herself with the stubbornness of a madman. 

PS: I hit 10000 viewers. I am celebrating. Thanks. 

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