Monday, July 8, 2013

Lost

Oh I don't know anymore. I am confused. About everything. I don't even tell the difference from an elephant and a hippo. Nothing makes sense anymore. Dread everywhere. I am more upset than I should sound. Nothing much happened today. But the last two days... well let's just say they have been in the dumps. This is actually the fifth time I am attempting to write. Which means I have four more drafts in my post list.7 Which I will have to delete if I succeed in completing and clicking that orange button that boldly proclaims 'Publish'. I don't have heart in anything I do anymore. I don't even know hey I write when I am hardly any good. I am not good at anything I try. I am not like those people who can get everything they do right the first time they try. I can't get it right second third or maybe even the fourth time. And its not like I don't want to get it right the first time. If people can't see that I try not to be my obnoxious, bossy self I can't do anything. A couple of days ago I made a list of the things I have been called. Needless to say, it was quite long. Over 30 names. And yesterday I have been expanding it. I then doodled it onto my rough book. A small dark figure with a huge cloud of names on top of the head. Me. I don't have anything much to say. I will just type down a poem I wrote a couple of days ago after seeing a depressed person ranting away about how she wants to die and all that. Me, nah I want to live a good life. I am hoping for the happy tomorrow.



                                                             Going Away
                                                                            -Niranjana Menon
Look for me,
Cry out for me,
But now you can't
Find me for I
Am going, gone.
Lost, hurt, tired
Of the wounds
That you caused on me.

Crying, broken, going away
Search for me all you can
But now I am invisible
Hiding so cannot
Scar me anymore
Or tear that last shred
Of hope I cling on to.

3 comments:

  1. "The saddest thing is not the presence of sadness, but the absence of happiness."
    - The Absurd Word Nerd

    ReplyDelete
  2. Don't be sad! It makes other people sad too. And don't ever say you're not good at anything, because everybody's good at something. You must be able to write - you've got followers! Keep going ;)I could write pages about the people who have called you names, but I won't. Just remember nobody should have that right.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you both for such beautiful comments. They made me smile

      Delete

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