Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Lahdidah deedah

I am unhappy. I have several reasons to be. I discovered that in my school of 1500 people exactly two people like me. Yes that's right.  And suddenly without reason today I got angry at them. I was stuffed into a six-seater van with seventeen people, I have a 25 marks maths assignment tomorrow  I had a surprise english test and I am upset for god-knows what reasons. I don't know why but all these days I am either too bubbly or depressed. And this makes me weirder. I do weird poses, apparently laugh too much and overreact. And even though the people who say all this don't know the first thing about me, it still hurts. I mean I thought that I was used to this. Getting teased, made fun of, getting stabbed from behind. Then I used to cry. Now it just feels like a lurching. A numbness due to too much pain. Then I realize that I just want to be someone else. A perfectly normal person. I guess nothing is abnormal about normal. Then you can hide in the shadows. Shadows so deep that nobody will ever find you. I don't care any longer. 
I am not melancholic. I am not a psycho. I am not dumb either. I am just in a bad mood. I wish there were more people who actually cared about everybody. Ah anyway a good does of ranting always improves my mood. I am happy again. Lahdidah deedah. Anyways since I am all settled in school now I will go back to regular posting schedules. 

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