Monday, April 22, 2013

A vehicle's tale

Hey people! I am sorry but I do not have time to whip up a new post. Unless.. you want to hear about my infamous school van. That discussion I can finish in 5 minutes.
SO you already know a little bit about this vehicle. This car is at least 10 years old and has a breakdown every single day and presumably when all of us are tired and can't wait to get home. The van driver promises us at the end of every single term and academic year that he will buy a new car, but those are just hollow ones. Nevertheless none of us can imagine going in any other car. I guess the main reason is because there aren't any other in our far-flung area but also because despite his stinginess  he gives every single child a treat at the end of the year.
Now I am getting to the complaints. Get braced;
That car doesn't have any ventilation except the half-open windows. It has a kind of a sliding door and once the door is closed it doesn't open and if it is open it doesn't close. Also our van driver stuffs 15 children into a van meant for 8 people. That means taking the smaller children on laps and the smallest ones on their laps. Kind of like a triple decker sandwich. Also the roof of the car doesn't have any foam coat so if we bump our heads we get a bruise and leftover cotton along with it.
 But we still love the van. We have fun. We threaten our driver. We buy snacks. We plan stuff. We complain about teachers. Sometimes we fight. I manage to empty my water-bottle on somebody all the time. It is great. Just great. So now I have to go. I will see you all in a week. Till then, farewell. (I figured that there should be an English goodbye as well.)

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Wishing again

Hey people. I know I am late for a post. But here is the thing I will not be writing for over a week that starts day after tomorrow. So I am going to write one more post and post it tomorrow. As for my today's post, I don't have much to say. I have spending a hell lot of time on one stupid essay leaving me no time to think about the blog. So this is one idea I had centuries ago.Its something of a short story or an essay or maybe a narration or even piece of poetry. or it is just a four line piece of stupid pointless poetry. Here it goes;

I would like to feel a feather, I want to see a mountain
I want to take a lick of an ice cream, I want to smell the mud after rain
I have done this but I wish to do it again
And now that I can't I wish I had loved it then.

Okay I know that it is a little babyish but it sounded quite endearing in my head. And now that you have read it you can very well understand that.... oh maybe you won't be able to. I as the writer of this can't understand from whom these lines come. Maybe a dead man or a person who has gotten a fatal injury and is going to die or something. But if read in a sad key it has quite a lot of meaning. And here are some more additional lines:

I want to hold the hand of a baby with a single finger,
I want to listen to the melody of birds waking me to their symphony,
I want to learn to fall in love,
I wish I had done it when I had the chance.

See? Now it is much more sad. I am starting to like it alot  And I am also asking myself why all my poems, essays and writings talk about such depressing subjects. My previous poem too talked about depressing subjects. I guess its just the way I am. Pessimistic. My friend tells me I am the world's biggest pessimist. I can't help it. But now you can comment on the poem. I am pretty sure its better than my usual standard. And here is the last stanza:

I want to try again, I want to cry again
But now it is too late.

'Kveðjum'. (Icelandic)




Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Doubts

How bad is it? How bad is it to pretend? To believe in a story that you make? To not to love your friends? To maybe desert? And then to not believe? I do it. I make up the stories. I have had few friends. But there always were two girls.They were always there. We were very different, in fact nothing like each other. They were childish, even babyish at times. I used to feel out of place and lamely laugh at their hardly understood jokes. We were friends because of two reasons. 1. I didn't know anybody but them. They wanted a person to join their trio because the third friend had just changed schools. But then it didn't matter then. We were just kids. We just hung out with each other. We were not even in the same class. I guess I didn't care. I guess i didn't know.
Soon came a move halfway across the country. In a way I was overjoyed. It was, after all, another chance. But of course that didn't happen. I again resided with the shadows. I thought that this was the way I was going to stay. But then another move came along. And then with a bang I found myself sitting in a new classroom of the old school. And in the class of one of the girls. But now it had relevance. Now I decided that I couldn't stay hidden forever. I deserted these girls and tried to befriend the 'cool' kids. And eventually landed back on the ground with an almighty thump. And then I went back to seeking my old company. I apologized and let that be. Then came another girl. I had known her for a long time. She was actually my first friend when I originally joined the school. I talked to her and decided that I will try her. Again I marooned my pals. I take that back. I marooned the only one left of my pals. The other girl had decided we weren't fit for her company (she got herself in a lot of trouble with the new pals and returned but that's some time into the future). The other girl, well let's just call her possessive and constantly moaning. I ignored her and happily walked around with my new best friend. We had a fairly peaceful relationship with just a couple of fights and loads of laughter.
Then began the summer holidays. Which meant tonnes of time. And then I sat and thought of how it meant to be marooned. Since I have experienced it several times it was easy for me. But for others? And then is it right for me to like a friend who my other friends hate? I don't know because I am not sure the friend likes just me as much. Should I not take risks and just return to the old gang? Or try? Nah its just loads of days of confusion falling together. But then in the end, how bad is it to lie to yourself?

Saturday, April 13, 2013

The unexpected

Finally for the first time I actually keep a promise. To be truthful i am appalled by it myself. I can never, never ever keep a promise. The reason: I forget about it. So yeah, let's go straight to my post.
The results of my final exams came about 3 days ago. I was absolutely, totally sure that I had done awfully badly. Read that terribly, stupidly, awfully, dreadfully, appallingly badly. The reason: I hadn't opened my books until the day before the exam. I had been my usual lazy self. And my usual lazy self usually gets good marks without studying too hard. And very obviously I relied on that belief and did the same thing. But very obviously I had messed with the with the wrong people.
As the first question paper (geography I think) landed on our desks like the nuclear bombs of Nagasaki I totally wished that I had read my text books a little more in detail. But my chance was over. I relied on whatever I learned in class. The second exam on the same day was a little better. And so went the days, filled with unbearable silence, boredom and cramming. Of course, there was tons of cramming  Then like a ray of sunlight after days of darkness came the vacations. Phew. On the last day the school shook with our shouts and screams.
After spending a leisurely 10 days doing.... absolutely NOTHING I suddenly realized with a jolt that the parent teacher meeting was a day later. I went absolutely religious and prayed to every single god. Then I went on to do chores for mum so that the punishment wont be too bad. Then, the day of reckoning arrived. I dressed in the most somber clothes I had along with a similar expression. As my mom took the the turn to my school, my heart started thumping savagely. I didn't want to go. I glimpsed my classroom. 'NOOOOOOO!' I mentally screamed. I got inside my classroom and grabbed the seat farthest from my teacher. When she motioned for us to join her I started to elaborate the task of entangling my baby brother from the desks. Then the teacher announced loud enough for me to hear (I was sure that it was my death notice) ' Niranjana has come third in the class.' What?! I stared at her with my mouth hanging open (literally). Was she talking about somebody else? It turned to be me after all. My luck had struck again. I am not sure it will work again. So tạm biệt (Vietnamese)
I hope this remains true forever!
PS: How does the blog look now? And please, please comment. I need more comments.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

The (very knowledgable, stupid and incomplete) teen

Okay I apologize. I know I don't have the right to say a word. But i didn't know i would be away (at a 'haunted' house {not really but it was quite creepy} ). I am totally totally sorry. But I promise you from today I will post every three days. And now lets get back to my today's rant.
Remember my teenager  post waaay ago? I ranted about me not being a typical teen and hating giggling and teen mags and other stuff. Now lets see, what the hell was I talking about? I was not even a proper teenager back then. Hardly 30 days into teenage and I was criticizing teens. My own gang. I wish I had thought a bit more before writing that. Bad idea. So now almost forgetting my past sins I was going to make the same mistake again. But then I sat and I thought or rather asked myself ,'Why is the teen like that? Why can't they be different? And why can't parents bear us?' Now look here. There are books for parents who have to manage the so called 'unmanageable' teen. But has anyone ever bothered to write a book or give advice for the teen to tackle their suddenly not-friendly-anymore parents. Teens are always stuck. I am stuck. We would love to get some help to wedge ourselves out of the suddenly crushing weights of childhood and adulthood mixed together. But mind it, just some help. But sometimes parents either ignore us or help us out too much. And then it doesn't work out. We get angry. They get angry. We scream at them. They scream at us. We run out in desperation. They see us running out in defiance. And there starts the ever-growing conflict. And the ever-widening gap. And this gap is irreversible. The child will never look at its parent in the same way. We see them with anger and in some cases hatred. No more are you a golden, lovable, adorable and sweet child. Now they see you the way they see a dead rat. Wishing the old you (golden, lovable, adorable and sweet child) were back. They don't realize that with you they too have changed. They just don't seem to know how much they rely on you. They just see it the other way around.

So with that I come to the closure of this post. But here is a thing. I am going to change the way this blog looks temporarily for summer. Just for fun. Anyways I don't have much to do. So steel yourself for a surprise next time you come around. So বিদায়. (Bengali)